Burning desire_

It all starts with a stroke
An itching stroke
And the flame is on
It glows, at start
It is sparkling
Full of life
Few moments
Until it starts eating itself
It eats you
Feeds on its own flesh
And that spiritual fraction of it
It gives a pleasant sensation
You wish it could last
But it is burning
Is it what they call joy of pain?
You want to feed it
Don’t you?
You want to keep the fire going
The addiction to feeling
To the peak of emotions
To the spur of this strange substance
Being transformed
From matter to air
As it leaves the body
That desire
Oriented to the outside
Will soon be nothing
But ashes
You will look at for a long while
Contemplate the desire
Turned into substantial matter
You can actually touch it
What does it feel like?
Materializing emotions
For how long are you willing to feed the flame?

A play of colors and time*

The piercing morning sun
Breaks the wall of ebony shades
Built by nocturnal reflections
Of the unquiet mind

The lips are smiling
The eyes are shining
The body is on go
But what about the soul?

Even the most piercing of all suns,
A rainbow,
With all its parachuted colors,
The greenest grass of the first day of spring
Cannot bring back the colors of an aging soul

The grey that reigns once
Reigns infinitely
Gray is irreversible
Just like gravity

Can you force life on that which is long dead?

An ephemeral bliss

Today my mind is good for nothing
My thoughts keep drifting and flying
Each time I come to set them on something useful
They slip right through my fingers
I am not able to center my ideas
On anything valuable

Instead, I am daydreaming
Of the colorful horizon
At the end of my mind frame
The rainbow of opportunities and ventures
The trip on the back of a butterfly
To the land where the soul is free
From all conventions and morals
Where the mind is unperturbed
By daily distresses and unease
And the body is liberated
From the strains of fabric and make up

I reach out to touch this horizon
And with a gesture of my inept hand
I spill my coffee
On my feet and my daydreams
Awakening my wandering mind
Dragging it out of the house of fantasies
Back to mind-numbing reality

In everyday life, Fantasy is dead.

An unworldly imagination.

And for a moment
I felt I own the world

Silence and noise
Roving around me
Were in perfect unison
Light and darkness
Were synchronized
Illuminating my striving thoughts
Casting a shadow over my fears
In such a perfect harmony

It was a moment of realization
An instant during which
The world, the stars and the whole universe
Revolved around me
Around my flesh and my spirit

It was an instant

And it disappeared
By the rise of the first sun rays
When the first word was uttered
And the silence died out
To give space to my mortal earthlike being
To be
Repeatedly
Once more

i am not a concept.

I am not a concept.
Though my feet
Leave no trace
On the sand
I set them on.

Don’t try
Let loose of me,
For in your brain
I find solace
Worth the credence
Of the heaviest body

In your brain
I am more than a concept
I am a developed idea.
A whole.

Perceived by all of your senses,
I am emotions.
Filtered through your wits
Embraced by your intellect

I fear,
Once outside of your mind,
My scheme won’t be as solid
To leave a trace
In the time and space
Framing our existence.

Can an idea scratch the soul?

Cold November*

She woke up this morning
Feeling a different kind of weight
The weight of things that were left unsaid

Last night had passed hastily
Lacking everything but tranquility
For his smiles, intentionally candid
Gave her fraudulent substance
That kept her company the whole night through

Who’s hiding behind the smiles, she wondered,
Is it the same soul she deliberately fell for
Back in the days, when time stood still?
Or is it a new soul, smitten by a new lust
That she once knew and now is obsessing about?

His words, impeccably chosen words, gave her comfort
That her mind couldn’t keep hold of
Words are words
They hardly climbed up the ladder of her soul
Only to reach her mind in form of incoherent fragments
The soothe of which disappeared as fast as it surfaced

Where is momentary madness?

i write to remember.

I polish my nails each a different color
Hoping that this would add some colors to my soul
I cut my hair, each day a bit shorter
Hoping that this would cut out the dark feelings inside
I wear hippie cloths and walk bare feet
Hoping that this would prove my existence

In a world that is turning colorless, feeling-less and cold

I reach out to you, hug you till it hurts
Hoping that this would show you I still feel
I grab you, grasp you till you suffocate
Hoping that afterwards I will be the one to make you breathe
And then, I will go back to polishing my nails,
Cutting my hair and trying on different cloths,
Everyday.

And then, I will write about it on my blog.
And then, I will read it emotively the day after
Trying to recollect the facts that triggered this flow of emotions.

I write to remember.

temporary peace*

Temporary peace
by Anathema

Deep inside the silence
staring out upon the sea
the waves are washing over
half forgotten memory

Deep within the moment
laughter floats upon the breeze
rising and falling dying down within me
and I swear I never knew, I never knew how it could be
and all this time all I had inside was what i
couldn't see
I swear I never knew, I never knew
how it couldn't be
all the waves are
washing over all that hurts inside of me

Beyond this beautiful horizon
lies a dream for you and i
this tranquil scene is
still unbroken by the
rumours in the sky
but there's a storm
closing in voices
crying on the wind
the serenade is growing
colder breaks my soul
that tries to sing
and there's so many many
thoughts
when I try to go to sleep
but with you I start to feel
a sort of temporary peace
there's a drift in and out



Is temporary peace killing our momentary madness?

I swallow colored pills for fun

I run naked under stormy skies
I feel the wet ground under my feet
Pulling me inwards, underground
I slide
Only my head is over grounds
I look upwards at the sky that turned red
It is coming down
Soon it will touch the land
And my head will be in between
The reality of the solid earth
And the illusions of moving red skies

I remain naked, surprisingly unimpressed
I feel the soil soaking my skin
Infiltrating the pores, making its way into my veins
Coloring my blood chocolate brown

The sky is moving closer, too close
I close my eyes and let go
I let the colored pills take lead

Brand new soul.

I pull
And I pull
And I pull
The string of my being
I hold on to it
And pull again
And I fall
On the unknown land
I drift
And I search
And I seek
A familiar face to grab
I roam
And I rove
And I end up
In the place where I first landed

No face is familiar
No words move me on
People of the unknown land
Are all distracted in shedding the thorns
That got stuck to their souls
As the years went by

I am new here
I have a brand new soul
How long will it remain intact?
How long until I am one of them?