On a clear perplexity

You do not have to be here
When the lack of your presence
Is not equivalent to your absence

You do not have to make promises
When every word your lips utter
Is an eternal promise carved on my eternal soul

You do not have to make up excuses
When you know that I can see through you
And that with a smile I embrace all your lies

You do not have to even speak to me
When your silence speaks much louder than your words
And way straighter to my heart

'intimacy affair'

A new concept that refers to the new trend of effective and efficient relationships for independent working women.

It is an affair - hence the secrecy. Even if it wasn't a complete secret; it is not as if women will walk around talking about it.

It is not love - hence not a 'love affair'

It is more than just sex

It is 'intimacy'

It is seeking moments of intimacy - when one can get personal with the other ... sharing their private natures with no strings attached. It is being able to be one's self in such small moments in time. It is this indescribable closeness that comes at the right dose to ease off everything else going on in the world. That small particular degree of disconnection that leaves you feeling as if there is nothing more you could ask for. Just, intimacy.

Random existential rambling

Her: I need higher ceilings
Him: are you mixing your pills again?
Her: did it end?
Him: how could it end since it never started?
Her: I thought I saw a red balloon behind that cloud
Him: it was a fish flying. Stop hallucinating.
Her: I saw you holding it. The thread was long
Him: I was holding a toothpick between my fingers
Her: Saturn is getting closer
Him: it's not Saturn. It is a red balloon. And you are holding it
Her: so it did start
Him: shut up. I like you better when you're a fish
Her: the fish doesn't think. The fish is mute. Expressionless
Him: Saturn is getting closer
Her: I must swim away

Random

Her: "I need higher ceilings"
Him: "Did you mix your pills again?"

Habits*

I am a creature of habit
And I move in circles around you
I will admit there's a pattern
One I created myself

None of my lovers dared leave me
I grew impatient and stale
Didn't look back once I'd left them
Cause I always expected to fail

But this time it's different
The rules don't apply
But I need some distance to step out of line

So grant me this wish and meet me back here in a year
If we still exist, I can let go of my fear
Fear of normalcy
Fear of the solid walls of our future and let go of my past

I must be crazy to want this
Cause you are the girl of my dreams
But I'm prone to ruin the good things
Cautious 'round balance it seems

*Lyrics of Maria Mena song - Habits

Inside out_

A
Gruesome
Noise
Comes
From
Outside
And
My
Ears
Twinge

A
Killing
Twinge
Comes
From
Within
Sharp, sharp
Pain

And
In the midst
Of it all

I
Don’t
Know
Which
Hurts
More

The
Unwanted
Contact
With
The
Outside
World

Or
My
Own
Succumbing
Inner self

In my parallel reality*

Today is one of those days
When I feel the urge
To dig a hole
Under my desk
Slip into it
And slide downward
Into a parallel reality
Where it rains fireflies
And snows colorful feathers
A parallel reality
The existence of which
Is bound to the walls
Of my own mind

Naked in a spaceship

She told him she was tripping
On nothing but threads of fresh air

A natural high

He, oblivious to his surroundings,
Did not take too long
To join her on the same cloud

“Let’s sleep together”, she said
“here, on this earth, in this place and time”

He smiled
But in his mind
They were naked in a spaceship

He was unaware of the fact
That through his eyes
She could read what was going on inside

His smile faded when he heard her say:
“Tonight, together we fly”

[re]create

Remember that castle we built?
Yes, the one we worked really hard on
Putting side by side sprinkles of dust
Aligning them carefully
For the whole thing not to fall apart

Remember the time it took us to build the ground floor
The basics of all other layers and details
We thought it was a secure foundation
One that can resist winds, fires and floods

We built it to last

But last it did not

No, it was not struck by an earthly clout
We destroyed it ourselves
Being too concerned about its strength
Too ambitious to give birth to something big
Something powerful, of good foundation and everlasting

We annihilate what we care about most
When we lose ourselves
Overstressing how much we care

Duality**

In my purple mind I drown
And the world no longer makes sense
You no longer make sense
Nothing really makes sense

In my purple mind I drift
And colors no longer exist
People I see in my everyday life
Take cartoon characters for a shape

People I see in my everyday life
No longer make sense

It is a different reality in there
In my purple mind

The stories I make
The lines and connections I draw
Outside the scope of my purple mind
Them too, do not make sense

Did I become too detached?
Am I that far beyond the totality of real things?

How did I end up with a double existence?