The long letter I never sent.

I wake up
In my empty bed
I look around
My infinitesimal room
You are not there
I look for you
Out in the streets
Smell what remains of the scent
Of your specter
That just passed by
Minutes before I got there
But all in vain
You are never there

I sit on my desk
Wait for a sign
To have a substance
To daydream about
But there are no signs
I am left alone
Even my dreams walked on me
Even my imagination betrayed me

And I thought
I would give up all I have
All my emotions
All my perversions
The most dear illusions and hallucinations
For a moment of liberation

But the minute I grasped this liberation
Between my miniature fingers
The moment I smelled emancipation
It just lost its golden swathe
It lost the adrenaline rush
I thought it would entice in me

Deliverance is nothing
Compared to being trapped
Inside that shielded mind of yours

For what is a dream worth
Without being able to share it with you?