Anesthetized

I feel a numbness that I cannot explain
It is ruling over my brain and my body
It could be the countless drugs I have taken
It could be the words you haven’t said to me

I feel the world around me moving in circles
At times fast, at times slow
At times it just stops and becomes noiseless

I try to sleep but I end up hallucinating
I see old people I have never met in my life
I see roads leading to places I have never been before
I see you amongst other ghosts, talking, but not to me
Avoiding looking into my eyes

I leave my bed and decide to be around people
They talk to me but I fail to reply
Inside, I scream, I try to utter few words
But they fail to leave my system
And I end up unheard – with moving lips but no sound

I go back to my room, put on my evening gown
I wear my gothic make-up, polish my nails blue
Close the curtains and shut off the lights
Sit on the floor and daydream about living undead