Emptiness in a box*

Today I feel the emptiness inside adding up
Soon enough it is going to flood from inside
Float, pour outside my skin, and surround my body
Soon enough I am going to bathe in it

Feeling hollow on the inside is one thing
And swimming in a pool of nothingness is another
I cannot tell which is worst

The old me would say: soon I will color the void around me
Carve it with smiley faces and happy shapes

But I am not feeling this urge anymore

My refuge is grey space, a fragile box I reside in
And a mental trip to a past, altered enough
That I can no longer retrieve memory from imagination