Thursday, 29 April 2010

Revocation of the 'I'

I am walking backwards
On the stairway of life
I am stripping off
The layers of my skin
Slowly, one by one
With each goes a memory
An experience
A failure, a triumph
Sometimes just a sensation

As I am pulling off
The dust that accumulated
On my spirits and soul
I was hoping I could see once more
The shape of the person in which I was born
The original, clean self
Unharmed, untouched, undressed
With no imposed thoughts
With no social constructs

Peeling layer after layer
Yet the skin is still thick
How far did I go in tainting myself?
Is there any way back?
Is that what they call the revocation of the ‘I’?

Saturday, 24 April 2010

Hope, I am calling you.

As days go by
The rainbow towards the end
Is becoming to seem too faraway
For the naked eye to see
The rainbow that is called hope
For a better ending, a happy ending
Is becoming blurry
The vision is diverted
By the clouds of gloom
Resulting from daily distractions
Inciting the mind to worry about the here and now
Instead of looking ahead
People are depressed
Others are not satisfied with who they turned out to be
Some others feel they are stuck in spots, not even in circles
Till when will this vision remain hazy?
How far will we go
Before sunrays decide to light up our paths -again
And lead us to the colors
To life, … in all its flavors?
When will the gray fade
And give way to a high spirits
And an earnest smile?

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

A totally meaningful conversation

Him: What the fuck happens with you?
Her: When?
Him: When we speak!!! What the fuck happens in your brain?
Her: I need attention – spoil me.
Him: Ahhh! … Sometimes I forget that you are not a normal person. I catch myself fantasizing about carrying out a meaningful, sensible, rational conversation with you… And each time you draw me out of my fantasy in an even more peculiar way!
Her: I need to be hugged, caressed, cuddled and spoiled by you.
Him: Pft! It is worthless to even discuss this with you! You drain me.
Her: … Then spend more time on spoiling me instead!

Of soul and stones*

Walls, walls, walls
Substantial, sturdy walls
Too high, they became lost between clouds
Too thick, they separate our worlds even more
Walls that cannot be broken
Walls that get even tougher
With every unspoken word
With every feeling buried in the soul
With every thought that wished to be materialized
On a bed, between sheets
Or under ever faithful skies
Ambiguous reflections
Are visiting my mind tonight
I wonder if the power of a mind
And the will of a heart
Can ever defy a mass of stones
Before turning into one them

Saturday, 17 April 2010

One sporadic chapter *

People often lose touch with reality
I have lost touch with the dream world
I found myself, feet stuck to the ground
Surrounded by concrete, flesh bound people
Talking and arguing, using their brains
Discussing rational ideas

I found people walking instead of flying
Cars speeding instead of slowing their pace
For the passengers to take pleasure in the scenery
Men in business suits running around
Checking the time relentlessly
As if times rules them, and not the other way round

The world has lost it.

I glanced through, looking for dream land shoes,
Those were gone. Vanished.

I found myself bare feet stuck to the ground
I too am running
I too am constantly watching the clock
I too have been struck with this hell bound spell called reality

My days became so hectic
I have no more time to daydream
Let alone write about it
My nights, which I came to worship as a time for the body to rest
Instead of being a time to set free the mind,
A time for disconnection from the tiring day life, and people
My former dreamless nights,
Became packed with endless nightmares
Became interrupted by sudden wake ups
Flashbacks of deadlines and unfinished tasks

I want my dream-shoes back.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Outer examination of feelings

It’s been some time
That I have been wanting
To express what is going on inside me
Not a long time – a couple of days only

I wanted to scream out
The words lingering inside me
The ideas that I am failing to put in sentences
Maybe I can express them in sounds
Audible, meaningless sounds
Bringing out the lunatic in me

My brain is packed with thoughts and emotions
Or maybe it is just my psychotic hormonal state
I spend too much analyzing
What goes on inside
That I let the days slide by

I am loosing track of time
Forgetting to enjoy the little things
Such as sunshine
And the amazing people I surround myself with
Till when will the fast forward pace drag?

Thursday, 8 April 2010

A thought from the bathroom

The higher the expectations
The deeper the fall.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010


It is not my reflection I am looking at in the mirror
It is rather pieces of me
Shattered little pieces
That do not relate to each other
Neither in their color nor in their smell

Tiny pieces of me
Each having a life of its own
Its little dreams and modest fears
Dreams of a better future
Fears of not getting there

Little pieces of me
Pulling my soul each to its side
In order to feel alive
In order to be able to breathe
But a soul cannot be smashed
It cannot be divided
A soul is one
And am not feeling it inside anymore