rumors.

I was told I should write about my feelings

That it would make me feel better

I was told I should let it all out; the memory, the smile, the sight and the tear

Yes, it is true, the tear.

Seeking change is a human trait

Wanting to move on, to develop inside out, is a human trait

But why the sadness?

Why the tears?

Why the sleeplessness?

If the call is true, straight from the heart …?

I needed a change

I changed.

I needed to move on

I am stuck,

How could it be, feeling and wanting and escaping from and desiring …. How can it be? Experiencing all these feelings in one exact moment…

This doesn’t make me feel any better.

Full stop.

"Sometimes I am the colour of air
Sometimes it's only afterwards
I find that I'm not there"

*Porcupine Tree